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Al Qaeda offering rebates to ransomed hostages ...

Dateline: Irbil, Iraq - (CNT) Al Qaeda unveiled a massive marketing campaign today designed to spread the word about a new hostage ransom rebate program. The rebates are designed to encourage Germans and other citizens of spineless, equivocating nations, to vacation in violent areas and make themselves vulnerable to kidnap and ransom efforts.

In exchange, Al Qaeda is offering cash rebates of up to 1/3 of the ransom price to any hostages successfully ransomed under the program.

"It's just our way of saying "Thanks" to all the nations who, by looking the other way for so long, have made all our successes possible to this point," said Abu Musab al Zarqawi, President and CEO of Al Qaeda's Iraq division in a statement. "We're very excited to be able to make this offer, which we believe will be competitive with anything offered by any of our competitors in the terrorist industry.""
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