Your Filthy Little Mouth

"I wrote this while smoking a La Gloria Cubana Wavel

Every platoon has one. He is that private or specialist who always has that one sarcastic sidebar comment. He is the kid who agrees to do a detail and then complains about why he was picked afterwards. He is the one who could be such a good soldier if only he would keep his mouth shut.

Mine is Private Jell-O. [OPSEC]

“Boy, I wish Sergeant Blackjack [OPSEC] was my platoon sergeant!”

I heard Private Jell-O’s comment all the way from my end of the tent.

Did that private just say what I think he said?

I got up from my chair and walked down the rows of cots. The tent was suddenly transformed into an old western movie when the gunslingers met at high noon. But instead of women herding children indoors and saloon keepers closing their shutters, my platoon saw me coming and dove onto their cots or suddenly became interested in their boots. They heard the comment as well.

I reached Private Jell-O’s cot. He was about to open his laptop when one pissed off platoon sergeant suddenly materialized in front of him.

“Enough!” I said. “If I ever hear you say that again, I will fuck you up.”"
Big Tabacco