.Children cope with parents' deployment
It's been more than three months since Rylan and Adarra Conklin felt their parents' embrace.
Sgt. Sara Conklin and Sgt. Robert Conklin were deployed to Afghanistan with the U.S. Army Reserve's 592nd Ordnance Company in September. They won't come home until October 2011.
When the Conklins last saw their son, he could barely walk.
He could make it only four or five steps before he fell into the arms of a watchful adult. He still leaned against his mother's legs for support while saying goodbye to her on the tarmac at Billings Logan International Airport.
Sara worked religiously on his walking before they were deployed. Her goal was to see his first steps.
Thanks to her early training, Rylan is now walking, crawling and climbing all over his grandparents' house in South Dakota with little help and is chasing and playing with Adarra.
His grandma, Laurie McGauvran, followed him around the house with their laptop so Sara and Robert could see their son through the webcam.
“This deployment is definitely harder on us than the last one,” Sara said in a recent e-mail.
“Last time, we were two single soldiers, and all we had at home were siblings and parents. Not to say they aren't important, but when you throw two kids in there, it makes it a lot harder.”
Rylan turned 1 in October. The Conklins had an early birthday party for the youngster before they were deployed. The best part was seeing Rylan eat his cake, most of which ended up on his face.
“That was a hard one for Sara,” said McGauvran, Sara's mother. “There were lots of tears for the birthday calls. Even though they celebrated with him early, it wasn't the same as being there.”
McGauvran has made sure to take plenty of pictures of both children over the past few months, sending envelopes full of them at pumpkin patches, birthday parties, relatives and houses and opening Christmas presents to their parents.
Sara puts the photos in a scrap book and hangs them on the walls of her room.
“Every once in a while, I will get a call from Sara saying, 'I'm done with those, and ready for more,'” McGauvran said.
Overall, the adjustment has gone smoother than McGauvran thought.
“It started out real rocky,” McGauvran said. “The adjustment to come with us wasn't a problem. It was the first few phone calls and webcams that were hard.
“The minutes after the call, they'd be real testy.”
Since the initial calls, McGauvran said, the children have accepted the fact that their parents are off working. Phone calls now predominately consist of chatting versus shedding tears.
“Adarra sat perched on the phone with her legs crossed and talked and talked,” McGauvran said. “She didn't even give her dad a chance to ask her any questions.”
Sara and Robert also keep in contact by reading the children books through the military-sponsored United Through Reading program.
The soldiers are able to pick out a book for their kids and read it to them in a soundproof room that is decorated like a nursery. While they read, the soldiers are videotaped.
Both the tape and a copy of the book is sent back home to the kids.
“The first time Adarra just watched her mother, no tears, no fussing,” McGauvran said. “Rylan ignored it the first time. But the second time he put his nose on the screen to look at his mom.”
The Conklins have sent four books to their kids. One story was about a Christmas tree and the others were Dr. Seuss tales.
“Everyone seems to be handing us being gone pretty well,” Sara said. “Of course, everyone has their bad days.”
They were able to listen to the kids open presents on Christmas Eve. Sara shopped online and mailed clothes purchased at shops in Afghanistan.
“They wanted to send presents that were actually from them,” McGauvran said.
She said going from a spoiling grandma to a disciplinary figure was hard.
“Having to be the one to say no, to spank fingers,” McGauvran said. “It was hard, but I promised Sara I wouldn't spoil them as much as I possibly could.”
Besides having to say no, just keeping up with two toddlers can be a daunting task for McGauvran and her husband, Tim, both in their 50s.
“We are tired, but it's getting better,” McGauvran said. “It's different picking up toys and finding my pots and pans in the living room.”
McGauvran drove up to Billings from South Dakota for a visit with Robert's side of the family. They arrived Monday.
Wednesday's winter storm put a damper in their plans, prompting them to leave a day early.
McGauvran said Sara told her that was important to have them visit Robert's side so they don't forget them.
The children certainly have not forgotten their parents. Adarra sleeps with a photo of Sara by her pillow each night.
“Rylan told me he loved me for the first time. It was the first time he said it, and it was to me, even though I'm not there,” Sara said. “It makes me feel like he still knows who we are, and that's comforting.”
McGauvran said they both have leave time, but because it is for such a short time, they will not be coming home. “They are afraid of what it would do to the kids,” McGauvran said.
Billings Gazette
Sgt. Sara Conklin and Sgt. Robert Conklin were deployed to Afghanistan with the U.S. Army Reserve's 592nd Ordnance Company in September. They won't come home until October 2011.
When the Conklins last saw their son, he could barely walk.
He could make it only four or five steps before he fell into the arms of a watchful adult. He still leaned against his mother's legs for support while saying goodbye to her on the tarmac at Billings Logan International Airport.
Sara worked religiously on his walking before they were deployed. Her goal was to see his first steps.
Thanks to her early training, Rylan is now walking, crawling and climbing all over his grandparents' house in South Dakota with little help and is chasing and playing with Adarra.
His grandma, Laurie McGauvran, followed him around the house with their laptop so Sara and Robert could see their son through the webcam.
“This deployment is definitely harder on us than the last one,” Sara said in a recent e-mail.
“Last time, we were two single soldiers, and all we had at home were siblings and parents. Not to say they aren't important, but when you throw two kids in there, it makes it a lot harder.”
Rylan turned 1 in October. The Conklins had an early birthday party for the youngster before they were deployed. The best part was seeing Rylan eat his cake, most of which ended up on his face.
“That was a hard one for Sara,” said McGauvran, Sara's mother. “There were lots of tears for the birthday calls. Even though they celebrated with him early, it wasn't the same as being there.”
McGauvran has made sure to take plenty of pictures of both children over the past few months, sending envelopes full of them at pumpkin patches, birthday parties, relatives and houses and opening Christmas presents to their parents.
Sara puts the photos in a scrap book and hangs them on the walls of her room.
“Every once in a while, I will get a call from Sara saying, 'I'm done with those, and ready for more,'” McGauvran said.
Overall, the adjustment has gone smoother than McGauvran thought.
“It started out real rocky,” McGauvran said. “The adjustment to come with us wasn't a problem. It was the first few phone calls and webcams that were hard.
“The minutes after the call, they'd be real testy.”
Since the initial calls, McGauvran said, the children have accepted the fact that their parents are off working. Phone calls now predominately consist of chatting versus shedding tears.
“Adarra sat perched on the phone with her legs crossed and talked and talked,” McGauvran said. “She didn't even give her dad a chance to ask her any questions.”
Sara and Robert also keep in contact by reading the children books through the military-sponsored United Through Reading program.
The soldiers are able to pick out a book for their kids and read it to them in a soundproof room that is decorated like a nursery. While they read, the soldiers are videotaped.
Both the tape and a copy of the book is sent back home to the kids.
“The first time Adarra just watched her mother, no tears, no fussing,” McGauvran said. “Rylan ignored it the first time. But the second time he put his nose on the screen to look at his mom.”
The Conklins have sent four books to their kids. One story was about a Christmas tree and the others were Dr. Seuss tales.
“Everyone seems to be handing us being gone pretty well,” Sara said. “Of course, everyone has their bad days.”
They were able to listen to the kids open presents on Christmas Eve. Sara shopped online and mailed clothes purchased at shops in Afghanistan.
“They wanted to send presents that were actually from them,” McGauvran said.
She said going from a spoiling grandma to a disciplinary figure was hard.
“Having to be the one to say no, to spank fingers,” McGauvran said. “It was hard, but I promised Sara I wouldn't spoil them as much as I possibly could.”
Besides having to say no, just keeping up with two toddlers can be a daunting task for McGauvran and her husband, Tim, both in their 50s.
“We are tired, but it's getting better,” McGauvran said. “It's different picking up toys and finding my pots and pans in the living room.”
McGauvran drove up to Billings from South Dakota for a visit with Robert's side of the family. They arrived Monday.
Wednesday's winter storm put a damper in their plans, prompting them to leave a day early.
McGauvran said Sara told her that was important to have them visit Robert's side so they don't forget them.
The children certainly have not forgotten their parents. Adarra sleeps with a photo of Sara by her pillow each night.
“Rylan told me he loved me for the first time. It was the first time he said it, and it was to me, even though I'm not there,” Sara said. “It makes me feel like he still knows who we are, and that's comforting.”
McGauvran said they both have leave time, but because it is for such a short time, they will not be coming home. “They are afraid of what it would do to the kids,” McGauvran said.
Billings Gazette
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