Where the Wild Things Are

"During my previous deployment to Iraq I had to contend with all types of exotic creatures which made our lives that much more interesting. These included mosquitoes which extracted blood by the pint, chupacabra sightings which turned out to be feral cats living in our garbage can, and an army of mice which could chew through armored bulkheads, if they thought something edible was on the other side.

This trip I have had to contend with swarms of gnats which blow into your face like an winged tornado. The phenomenon becomes quite interesting during physical exercise. So far I have only swallowed seven of them. It is a far more pleasant experience than keeping your mouth firmly closed and snorting one up a nostril though. Trust me."
Castra Praetoria

h/t Grumpy