Eating Lots of Halloumi

"I've been having trouble with my internet connections which is why I haven't been able to post (that and simple procrastination). At home in Baghdad, my wireless access point stopped working so I went out and bought another one which then after a week broke down too. My internet here at the farm isn't doing so great either, virtually impossible to load a page of porn.

My dad finally left a few days ago which is a relief. He has managed to leave me with an incredible mess to deal with. I've got about 3 months of accounts that I need to start working on and it's still just piling on. Got a couple of brothers that have built themselves fancy homes on our land that I must either get them to agree to sign a rent contract or otherwise we'll have to take them to court. Right now, I'm now in the middle of re-routing a bunch of irrigation canals which is costing plenty.

I did go back to the doctor after finishing my prescription and after some persistence on my behalf I got him to tell me what the heck was wrong with me... Yes! I am stupid to have had unprotected sex with a prostitute... I contracted chlamydia from the woman. The doctor gave me a bunch more antibiotics, some pills to treat the 'sand' in my pee (an early sign of kidney stones) and told me not to worry and to come back in a month. I've got to insist on getting a culture test next time to make sure it's gone."
Baghdad Bacon & Eggs

I don't get it? You said you used a condom when you had sex with your computer, what happened when you did the prostitute? Where was the condom?