.Letters from soldier killed in Iraq reveal his love, faith
Every morning, first thing, Melissa Haddad checked her e-mail for something from Pete. And every night, before turning in, she'd look one last time for one final note.
Half a world away, at his base in the Green Zone in Baghdad, 2nd Lt. Peter Burks did the same, across all those miles and all the time zones between them, sharing his thoughts with Missy, the woman he'd dreamed about for most of his life.
They wrote about the kids they hoped to have someday.
They shared their fears and uncertainties during their long separation.
And they talked about their Christian faith and how it sustained them.
Today, those e-mails are all Missy has left of the man she loves, the man who was killed by a roadside bomb in November in the service of his country.
And as part of her healing process, Missy sifted through their e-mails, and photos of their time together, and created a Web site to tell their story.
"We had exchanged e-mails at least twice a day, and Pete had a way of writing, a most eloquent style," said Missy, 23, of McKinney. "After he was killed, I knew that our families needed something. So I posted the things that I thought would help them get through that period.
"But then I heard from other people, asking what we thought of the war and other things. So I opened it up for everyone around the start of this year.
"It was like Pete was leaving a trail for us."
•
Missy remembers her time with Pete as "perfect, like a fairy tale."
But it took them a while to get to that point.
"It's funny, looking back, because Pete and I always had some kind of connection," she said. "We just didn't figure it out right away."
They met briefly in the summer of 2004 and again late that year when both worked as drivers for the Cotton Bowl in Dallas.
"When you're a driver, you spend a lot of time with the other drivers," Missy said. "But we still didn't start dating right away."
It was only after Pete left Celina for basic training with the Army that they began exchanging letters.
"When he finished, he asked me to be his date for his OCS [Officer Candidate School] graduation in October '06," she said.
After that, they were inseparable.
Pete, 26, asked Missy to marry him on an outing at the Dallas Arboretum in April 2007, three months before he shipped out for Germany, then Kuwait and finally Iraq.
"That was the last time I saw him," Missy said.
From that point, their computers became their lifelines, their link to each other. It allowed them to talk about their feelings for each other, about day-to-day things, and inevitably, about how each worried about the other.
On her Web site, Missy has posted some of the e-mails she received, and what led to Pete's answers:
When I told Pete I was worried about him:
"Baby, i know that regardless of the circumstances, God is putting me exactly where he wants me for the time being. i know that that is hard to swallow, but it is the truth...." [Oct. 14, 2007]
When I told Pete I was scared of him being lonely:
"... as far as loneliness goes, my dear, misery loves company here. all of us miss our family and our wives/fiances, but we are soldiers and we make the most of it because that's what we do...." [Nov. 8, 2007]
When I asked Pete about what he felt about his reassignment:
"... just so you know, i'll be in the same areas I've been going to thus far, so not to worry too much about anything crazy happening. our area is quiet, and i intend to keep it that way for my platoon, myself, and the people in those neighborhoods." [Oct. 27, 2007]
When I told Pete about some of my friends doing a community project:
"...Jesus tells us to go forward and make disciples and preach the Gospel. I can't think of a better way to preach the gospel/minister to people than to be actively trying to help people out. ... let's promise ourselves that no matter what, we will find a way to make a difference and help out our fellow man in this world. ...we could even come up with an event for us to do as a family that we can build on with our little rugrats." [Oct. 26, 2007]
•
Since Pete's death on Nov. 14, Missy wrestles with conflicting feelings every day.
"I'm very thankful and not so thankful in the same way about the way he died," she said. "He didn't feel any pain. But there are still so many what-ifs in my mind – if they had delayed leaving the base by one minute, or if the bomb had gone off 30 seconds later, he'd still be alive.
"And now I'm struggling with the thought that all of this isn't real. I was used to not speaking with him every day. We knew we weren't going to be together for at least a year.
"Now it's like he's on a mission and that's why I don't hear from him."
But his e-mails help keep her grounded, and lift her in the most difficult times.
"We never fought, never once, and the only tears we had was when we had to leave one another," Missy said. "He told me once he had prayed since he was little for a soul mate who would understand him.
"He kept a journal beginning in 2001 for the woman he was going to marry, and the last five entries are written to me. There are no other names mentioned in it."
Pete's mom, Jackie Merck, said her son became a fervent Christian while in elementary school and studied the Bible voraciously.
"When my son began writing the journal he delivered to Missy, it was based on Peter's personal experience with Jesus," she said. "Through that, he had the desire to search for a wife who was like the woman described in Proverbs 31, because those qualities were so important to him."
Before Pete shipped out, he and Missy sat down together and each wrote out a "List of Love."
"I think I made that up in 14 seconds, everything from 'What do you want me to think about if I'm having a bad day?' to 'What do you want to inspire me?' We both filled it out and read it together, and I absolutely cherish that thing," Missy said.
Those words sustain her, along with her faith, which Pete helped to nurture.
"Pete walked the walk and talked the talk when it came to faith," Missy said. "I thank God that he is absolutely in charge and that Pete was his best ambassador down here. This has taught me I can't be angry with God. I'm hurting and he's hurting for me.
"That's how I'm able to get up every morning. It's that faith. But it's hard for a lot of people to accept that."
In the very darkest days after Pete's death, his personal effects arrived home from Iraq. And inside, Missy found a letter, written late on Nov. 13, shortly after he returned from leading his first patrol and just eight hours before he set out on his last.
He wrote words of love and comfort to her, and took pride in serving his country.
Missy treasures it.
"Do you know how much I love you, little precious? You are so amazing, sweet girl, and I miss your sweet self so much! Well, I just finished leading my first patrol by myself, and it went well ... it really makes me proud to be an American soldier.
"I know the Army can be stupid and hard on our relationship, but it's these proud moments that make what I'm doing worth it."
Dallas News
This story about a web site, does not contain the link!!
Half a world away, at his base in the Green Zone in Baghdad, 2nd Lt. Peter Burks did the same, across all those miles and all the time zones between them, sharing his thoughts with Missy, the woman he'd dreamed about for most of his life.
They wrote about the kids they hoped to have someday.
They shared their fears and uncertainties during their long separation.
And they talked about their Christian faith and how it sustained them.
Today, those e-mails are all Missy has left of the man she loves, the man who was killed by a roadside bomb in November in the service of his country.
And as part of her healing process, Missy sifted through their e-mails, and photos of their time together, and created a Web site to tell their story.
"We had exchanged e-mails at least twice a day, and Pete had a way of writing, a most eloquent style," said Missy, 23, of McKinney. "After he was killed, I knew that our families needed something. So I posted the things that I thought would help them get through that period.
"But then I heard from other people, asking what we thought of the war and other things. So I opened it up for everyone around the start of this year.
"It was like Pete was leaving a trail for us."
•
Missy remembers her time with Pete as "perfect, like a fairy tale."
But it took them a while to get to that point.
"It's funny, looking back, because Pete and I always had some kind of connection," she said. "We just didn't figure it out right away."
They met briefly in the summer of 2004 and again late that year when both worked as drivers for the Cotton Bowl in Dallas.
"When you're a driver, you spend a lot of time with the other drivers," Missy said. "But we still didn't start dating right away."
It was only after Pete left Celina for basic training with the Army that they began exchanging letters.
"When he finished, he asked me to be his date for his OCS [Officer Candidate School] graduation in October '06," she said.
After that, they were inseparable.
Pete, 26, asked Missy to marry him on an outing at the Dallas Arboretum in April 2007, three months before he shipped out for Germany, then Kuwait and finally Iraq.
"That was the last time I saw him," Missy said.
From that point, their computers became their lifelines, their link to each other. It allowed them to talk about their feelings for each other, about day-to-day things, and inevitably, about how each worried about the other.
On her Web site, Missy has posted some of the e-mails she received, and what led to Pete's answers:
When I told Pete I was worried about him:
"Baby, i know that regardless of the circumstances, God is putting me exactly where he wants me for the time being. i know that that is hard to swallow, but it is the truth...." [Oct. 14, 2007]
When I told Pete I was scared of him being lonely:
"... as far as loneliness goes, my dear, misery loves company here. all of us miss our family and our wives/fiances, but we are soldiers and we make the most of it because that's what we do...." [Nov. 8, 2007]
When I asked Pete about what he felt about his reassignment:
"... just so you know, i'll be in the same areas I've been going to thus far, so not to worry too much about anything crazy happening. our area is quiet, and i intend to keep it that way for my platoon, myself, and the people in those neighborhoods." [Oct. 27, 2007]
When I told Pete about some of my friends doing a community project:
"...Jesus tells us to go forward and make disciples and preach the Gospel. I can't think of a better way to preach the gospel/minister to people than to be actively trying to help people out. ... let's promise ourselves that no matter what, we will find a way to make a difference and help out our fellow man in this world. ...we could even come up with an event for us to do as a family that we can build on with our little rugrats." [Oct. 26, 2007]
•
Since Pete's death on Nov. 14, Missy wrestles with conflicting feelings every day.
"I'm very thankful and not so thankful in the same way about the way he died," she said. "He didn't feel any pain. But there are still so many what-ifs in my mind – if they had delayed leaving the base by one minute, or if the bomb had gone off 30 seconds later, he'd still be alive.
"And now I'm struggling with the thought that all of this isn't real. I was used to not speaking with him every day. We knew we weren't going to be together for at least a year.
"Now it's like he's on a mission and that's why I don't hear from him."
But his e-mails help keep her grounded, and lift her in the most difficult times.
"We never fought, never once, and the only tears we had was when we had to leave one another," Missy said. "He told me once he had prayed since he was little for a soul mate who would understand him.
"He kept a journal beginning in 2001 for the woman he was going to marry, and the last five entries are written to me. There are no other names mentioned in it."
Pete's mom, Jackie Merck, said her son became a fervent Christian while in elementary school and studied the Bible voraciously.
"When my son began writing the journal he delivered to Missy, it was based on Peter's personal experience with Jesus," she said. "Through that, he had the desire to search for a wife who was like the woman described in Proverbs 31, because those qualities were so important to him."
Before Pete shipped out, he and Missy sat down together and each wrote out a "List of Love."
"I think I made that up in 14 seconds, everything from 'What do you want me to think about if I'm having a bad day?' to 'What do you want to inspire me?' We both filled it out and read it together, and I absolutely cherish that thing," Missy said.
Those words sustain her, along with her faith, which Pete helped to nurture.
"Pete walked the walk and talked the talk when it came to faith," Missy said. "I thank God that he is absolutely in charge and that Pete was his best ambassador down here. This has taught me I can't be angry with God. I'm hurting and he's hurting for me.
"That's how I'm able to get up every morning. It's that faith. But it's hard for a lot of people to accept that."
In the very darkest days after Pete's death, his personal effects arrived home from Iraq. And inside, Missy found a letter, written late on Nov. 13, shortly after he returned from leading his first patrol and just eight hours before he set out on his last.
He wrote words of love and comfort to her, and took pride in serving his country.
Missy treasures it.
"Do you know how much I love you, little precious? You are so amazing, sweet girl, and I miss your sweet self so much! Well, I just finished leading my first patrol by myself, and it went well ... it really makes me proud to be an American soldier.
"I know the Army can be stupid and hard on our relationship, but it's these proud moments that make what I'm doing worth it."
Dallas News
This story about a web site, does not contain the link!!
posted by madtom at 4:09 PM
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