Random Thoughts 4-June-2006

"I watched lacrosse on AFN during breakfast yesterday. It looks like a fun sport—very fast paced and very physical. However, my first reaction was that the players resemble a bunch of helmet-clad entomologists on crack trying to capture insects in their nets.

I have determined that chow hall workers are not always responding to your verbal declaration of what food you desire, but merely measuring the volume of sound you produce when their tongs are near each item. For instance, I once asked for peas on top of my mashed potatoes while I was getting gravy on my steak. Guess who got gravy on their mashed potatoes too. It was, after all, my mistake for trying to stretch the lad beyond his abilities. Because of this I have instated a program to teach vocabulary to the chow hall workers. When ordering my items I do not point, but merely say what I want. They will usually point at something and look to me for approval. If it’s correct, good to go. If not, I repeat “No, ____” and they try again. I don’t point anymore. Somebody has to do it, because they’re obviously not studying their food service vocabulary with flashcards in their off-time. When I studied Arabic I could memorize 20 vocabulary words in about an hour. That’s really all we’re talking about here: vocabulary. Just a bunch of nouns linked by a few prepositions (on, in, etc). No verb tenses, no masculine/feminine agreement, no possessives…just nouns. I don’t think expecting them to know the names of the foods they serve is asking too much (especially since they work for an American company, KBR)."
Midnight in Iraq