Mantras I Live By

"Thermite grenade canisters are sharp. Give them the respect they’re due or you may loose a thumb.

-The Ugandan soldiers that guard the chow hall are polite, but they only know about eight words of English. Don’t force the conversation out of those eight words and they won’t delay your entrance to the chow hall.

-Eye contact is powerful. If you don’t like what a local is doing just hold eye contact for a few seconds. They will quickly stop or move along.

-There are thousands of wild dogs in Al Anbar. Some are nice, some aren’t. It’s probably not worth rabies detox to find out which ones are nice.

-There is no such thing as a right-click on Macintosh computers. This isn’t really a mantra, but I am still aghast after learning this and do not understand how you are to access commonly needed menus. Boo, Steve…boooooo.

-Bottled water tastes better with Crystal Light.

-Never trust a pot of coffee you didn’t make yourself.

-It takes a long time to load a magazine of 30 rounds. It only takes a few seconds to empty one. Carry lots of ammo.

-Unplugging a USB cable from a computer while a Marine is browsing the internet may cause him to freak out. Don’t try to explain the difference between USB and ethernet, just tell him “It’ll be OK,” in a calm and soothing voice."
Midnight in Iraq