Where to begin?

'Where to begin?

My world is honestly falling apart. It's just crumbling beneath me and I'm left, stranded, scrambling to keep my footing. But it's impossible. One day, soon, I am going to fall. And when I do the fall will be hard. It will be devastating.

One of my biggest problems is this: I keep everything inside. I keep it all to myself. Because I believe no one can help me. And there's this part of me that thinks I deserve to suffer. It's almost like I love to suffer. While I keep everything inside I find it impossible to cope with these things. I try to hide them, bury them, keep them at the back of my mind. But everyone knows how that works... it festers, it grows, until one day it's back in my face and I'm trapped. I have no where to go and I do not want to face whatever it is that has hurt me or bothered me. God I'm such a pussy."
I Have Nine Ninjas...

Another new milblog, looks interesting