Are we there yet?

"It’s almost impossible to stay awake during long drives. I drink a minimum amount of water when we’re on long jaunts because it tends to go straight through my system and eventually the pain you experience from holding your piss in for hours on end is unbearable. The hurt doesn’t disappear once you’ve gotten out of the truck and drained your bladder either. It stays with you for hours. We once tried relieving ourselves in Gatorade bottles but that resulted in having urine soaked pants.

For all soldiers reading this who are deploying soon: I would not recommend attempting to drive through Iraq while wiggling your wenis out of your pants with body armor on. It’s totally unworkable and you’re left with your dick hanging out, an undone belt, and you’ve essentially pissed yourself."
Fun With Hand Grenades